The Refrigerator

I’ve just seen the most marvelous sight this morning.

I work in a lovely establishment with good hearted intelligent people. It’s truly a pleasure. This place does everything it can to retain its employees. They have adequate workspaces and computing environments. The facility has an elaborate and well maintained training program with obvious care is dedicated towards both quality control and quality assurance (there’s a difference). There are sufficient amply equipped conference rooms. There is a decent cafeteria with hard working folk that tend to their offerings and services with dedication and care.

There is sufficient parking. They make it as green as possible. Long banks of solar panels double as both energy collection devices and vehicle shelters. They even have a few car stations designed to accommodate electric cars. The landscaping is well tended. There are Adirondack chairs scattered outside the grassy areas. There are well maintained badminton and volleyball courts scattered about the campus. Inside the building which I currently occupy, there is a fully equipped gymnasium which boasts stair climbers, treadmills, elliptical machines, free weights and yoga mats. The gym is open from 5 in the morning until 11 in the evening 7 days a week. Instructors staff the gym and they are always there to ensure both your safety and the quality of your workout.

Throughout the entire facility there are coffee stations. These coffee stations are free and are stocked with water coolers and a variety of caffeinated and de-caffeinated coffees, teas and chocolates with the necessary machinery to ensure the efficient brewing of same. These stations serve as ad hoc gathering points where people can exchange the day’s greetings. These stations are also used as drop off points for discarded books, magazines and even leftover vegetables, fruit, pastries and sweets.

One of these stations, the one in between my office and my exit, was put out of commission for a day. There was construction work being performed on it in order to convert the area into an even better facility.

Now, I move pass this station every morning as it is on my way to my desk. I pass by it for two reasons: the first is to pick up a cup of coffee before I turn on my computer. The second reason, and perhaps the most important, is to see if I can scarf up any free goodies someone else has deposited. I have a terrible sweet tooth. It cannot be denied.

And this morning was no exception. I had forgotten the construction work that had taken place on Friday until I saw the old ‘under construction’ sign placed off to the side of the area. And with this minor flash of recollection I navigated myself towards the area anticipating a fresh cup of coffee and perhaps a goody or two to purloin.

Too bad for me. No goodies this morning. But there was coffee. Not bad. And look here. What have we here? Not one, but two (count ‘em) two brand spankin’ new cutesy ass four foot tall refrigerators with freezers situated on their respective tops. Hmm. Says I. And so saying, opened the refrigerator located on my right. Strange. No light appeared. The tell tale sign of all activated and alive refrigerators. But this one shone no light after having opened its door. It was bereft of light. A dearth of light. Devoid of same. An absence. A deficiency. A non-appearance. A lack of. A want of. No light. And owing to my stealth like rapid firing synapses, a single thought careened through the portals of my Monday morning cerebrum. “Is dis ting turned on? Duh.”

And with that I reached inside to grope and fondle the shelves anticipating coldness. Only to find instead: room temperatureness. And yet. This little refrigerator was fully stocked. Someone’s frozen dinner was in the freezer. The refrigerator section displayed milk, juice, yogurt and other various and assorted otherwise perishable items. And yet they were being stored at room temperature. Or roughly sixty-eight degrees Fahrenheit. Twenty degrees Celsius if you absolutely must know.

And … there was a hand written note discretely taped to the half empty plastic see through apple juice container. To wit: “Help Yourself”

So here, careening through my rapier like wit, posed at least three questions.
1. Is the sign referring to the apple juice only?
2. Has this stuff been in here since Friday afternoon or this Monday morning?
3. Are people even more groggy than me on Monday mornings that they just automatically shove things in a refrigerator assuming the thing works?

Inasmuch as neither of these questions could be readily resolved, one can only assume the most negative of possibilities. Only the apple juice is free for the taking. Every bit of this stuff has been here churning up nicely over the weekend. Everyone who placed their respective stuff in there just blindly assumed that a standing refrigerator is a working refrigerator.

I walked away smiling.

I wasn’t hungry anyway.

I wonder if there are any grapes in the crisper?